Tuesday, August 03, 2004

more postal scrotality

The inimitable Justin writes (in part):

Regarding your question, the amount of philandering possible as an English teacher in Japan is directly proportional to fairness of complexion multiplied by the square root of testosterone. My best example is an American acquaintance who worked for Nova, one of the largest English school chains here in Japan. He set up a "365 program," that is, a sexual goal equivalent to one woman per day of the year. He picked up most of his pussy in gaijin bars, but got caught for fucking around with his students after half a year. Now, homeboy claimed that he bedded around 50 women in that six month period, a number I can actually find believable since he got not one but TWO students pregnant! I hate to generalize, but most loser expats who come here are real coozehounds since they can never get a piece of ass back home, but enjoy godlike status here in some circles. A major portion of this group happen to be English teachers, and many of them play Bill Clinton to their students' M. Lewinsky. That is, they do "not" have sexual relations as far as keeping their jobs go.

We have our share of lame expats in Korea as well, though I hasten to add (lest I invite WHITE RAGE) that these expats, while numerous, don't tell the whole story of expat life here by any means. Go visit Andi's blog, or any other Koreablog on my blogroll, for examples of expats who haven't given in to the Dark Side.

Then again, Zen luminary Alan Watts spent his time in Japan doing LSD on monastery grounds (think I'm shitting you? read this and learn what a pious shithead Watts was). As Bill Murray might say, Watts was truly a "fuzzy little foreigner" while abroad.

And here's something I wish more women said about me. Mystery Woman writes (in part):

i have determined that if i were your student, i'd bang you like a well-oiled nail. Just think of my cervix as a hammer, and all will be well, or well, damn scary for you, whichever. If i had a hammer, i'd hammer out nails all over this land, or some stupid shit. [...]

i think you oughta just hit that while you can, student-wise, ethics be damned. Or better yet, if your ethics are itching, bang hell out of J-Con-Dos-Uvulas. Wouldn't a hummer be a fun experience with both uvulas, er, humming?

Nice to know I have people rooting for me to get some. Christ, I'm lame. But no, I won't be snatching any snatch. And that sucks: had another cutie in my office today. Damn. And she was a bit closer to me in age.


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