ode to my schlong

It's the last day of August. I turn 35 today, so I thought I'd write some haiku in praise of the one piece of flesh that has stood by me, lo these many years.

hanging in my crotch
grinning enigmatically
hot dog... or guru?

superpowered dick!
ladies watch amazed as you
puke different colors

first-person shooter
charging down pink corridors
whoa-- the Power-Up!

fleshy lightsaber
nature's exclamation point
brainless yet happy

little does she know:
if she moves too close, I'll be
launching my sperm worms

Chinese calendar
says that I'm Year of the Cock
heh; you're telling me

thirty-five-year-old
piece of bacon in my pants
leering toothlessly

_