Wednesday, August 09, 2006

my hell: a clarification

For the longest time, I thought I knew what my personal hell would be: eternity spent in a cramped room, forced to listen to country music. Yeee-haw, boys-- gunna fuck us a sheep! Tonight, however, I had a glimpse of true hell: the same room, but unbearably hot and humid.

Yes, yes: I go on and on about current conditions, but ya' gotta understand: it's bad, folks. It's baaaad. This weather is nastier than the nastiest quadruple penetration-loving porn star. All of Seoul is buried under a huge, slimy bukkake layer of humidity. The Coming of the Lord.

The walk up Namsan tonight was easily the worst of all the walks I've done: zero enjoyability. Maximum suck. (I did do the walk in 57 minutes, though.) The lights were out along the Koreanische Philosophenweg, as well as along the bus route down from the tower. I didn't mind the darkness, but I've started to wonder whether the mountain is undergoing rolling blackouts to conserve power or something: those lights were out, but the Library Stairs lights were on. The reverse was true, previously.

The end of my walk featured a stupid encounter in a bridge tunnel: some fuckwad walking toward me deliberately got in my way, then stood in my path instead of stepping aside. He kept his eyes lowered and aped a look of calm resignation: I'm patiently waiting for this dumb foreigner to figure out he should yield. I briefly contemplated kicking him in the balls, then stepped around him and went on my way. By the way: the dude was barely five feet tall. And drunk.

I can't believe the number of earthworms out at night. Those dudes over at Lost Nomad need to get out to Namsan and harvest these bad boys: the number of dead earthworms was so great this evening that their collective decomposition noticeably stank. The number of live earthworms was arguably greater. I know I crushed a few on my way up the Philosophenweg. I apologized to them as I trudged along, but I doubt they accepted my apology. I asked a coworker why there have been so many earthworms these days; she thought they might have been driven out of the ground by the lack of moisture in the soil, and now they're questing for damper regions.

I should invite those worms into my armpits.

Damp enough for ya'?


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