Friday, February 18, 2011

Eureka! (said he, as he peeked into his pants)

I finally figured out how I'm going to write most of my eBay entries from now on: Q&A!

Por ejemplo:

ITEM: C-Icon Laptop Backpack
BUY IT NOW: $18.95
DIMENSIONS: (without handle and straps) approx. 18.5" H x 15" W at widest point; thickness varies, but approx 5.5" to 6"
WEIGHT: 21.8 ounces


Q: Will this item increase my penis length by at least 3 inches?
A: No.

Q: Can I fuck it?
A: Yes. But why?

Q: Will it make chicks dig me?
A: If you're stupid enough to ask the penis question, then... yes.

Q: What R U wearing?
A: Grandma, stop texting me. It's creepy.

Q: Is there a God?
A: Yes, and He is very, very angry with your penis question.

Q: Is this laptop backpack for real?
A: You mean, like, furreallz? Here's an idea: buy it and find out.

Q: What if I don't like it?
A: What if I don't like your mom?

Q: Why R U so mean to me?
A: Don't think I don't know it's you again, Grandma. Your overuse of "R U" is giving you away. And it's still creepy.

Oh, I think this is gonna be fun. But it may get me kicked off eBay.


1 comment:

Maven said...

I'm sharing this link in response to the "Can I fuck it?", which then makes me think "Can I eat it?", which then makes me think of this video: