Monday, February 21, 2011

for all you cheap, lazy bastards

We used to have a cat that was so damn lazy that he wouldn't drink from his bowl of milk unless someone (usually the parent who spoiled him in the first place) held the bowl up off the floor and close to his face. I get the feeling that a lot of the people who haven't come around to buying my book Scary Spasms in Hairy Chasms: A Panoply of Paeans to Putrescence and a Cornucopia of Corrosive Coprophilia, are simply too damn lazy to do so without my shoving excerpts from the book in their faces. So I've finally scanned almost half the freaking book and have placed the cropped, resized images in my Picasa album.

Here's a link to the slide show. Enjoy. In the next 24 hours, I'll have an eBay post up so I can sell the last batch.

(As you can see by my charming bedside manner, I'm not about to be hired by anybody's marketing department.)

A few comments about the slide show:

1. The above link takes you to the Picasa page showing all the pictures at once. Near the upper left corner, click on "Slide Show" to get the actual slide show going.

2. I don't know why the pages appear in slightly different sizes on Picasa. They're all 1200 pixels wide, and have been reduced from 300 to 72 dpi. I assume this is some sort of Picasa quirk. Ideally, they should all be the same size, except for the first two images, which are of the front and back covers.

3. The faded text is merely a scanning issue, not a reflection of the print quality of the physical book.

4. The reason why the left-hand margin of each page seems so wide while the right-hand margin seems so narrow is cropping. All I did was crop away unnecessary strips of black from around the scanned image. Because of the way the book rested on the scanner's glass, some of the pages not touching the glass were scanned in, too, and I elected not to crop them.

5. This isn't about the slide show, but I'll be creating two eBay entries for the book: un-autographed copies ($7.50 plus shipping) and autographed copies ($10 plus shipping). Were this a print-on-demand book, I wouldn't be able to offer that.



Charles said...

Dang, my autographed copy is only worth ten bucks? I was hoping to get more for it than that at the yard sale.

Word verification: bornonag

I got nothin', except to say that this sounds awesome and is only a pair of similar letters away from "porno mag."

Maven said...

It was one of my finer moments, when I opted to purchase two of these books: one for myself, and one for my dad, which I gave to him on Christmas morning. Nothing says "let's celebrate the birth of the baby Jesus" MORE than a book about putrescence. I thank you, posthumously, on his behalf, for the laughs and smiles your book provided my dad.

Kevin Kim said...

Thank you for buying those copies.