Monday, October 03, 2011

barf bowl

It must have been something I ate. As near as I can figure, it was some bad eggs, and those eggs forced me to do a thing I haven't done in over 20 years: find a large barf bowl and take it into bed with me. I'd had only three hours' sleep the night before and had been hoping, last night, to get to bed early, but the churning in my guts wouldn't allow me to go to sleep. I lay in bed for a couple hours, imagining the peristaltic action in my abdomen and wondering whether everything was going to shoot out now as vomit, or shoot out later as diarrhea.

Luckily, I ended up with the best-case scenario: I faded into a comfortable slumber and managed to avoid any nocturnal leaps into the bathroom. This morning, I woke up with only an echo of last night's stomachache and nausea, had myself a decent poop, and now seem to be fine. We'll chalk this up to minor food poisoning and go have ourselves a day.

My barf bowl is awesome, by the way. It's metal, and almost two feet across. As I was lying in bed last night, I placed it over my face and recited Darth Vader lines in a stentorian rumble. Self-entertainment is a specialty of mine.


1 comment:

Bratfink said...

I had this last week! Only I DID barf. :(

I had food poisoning in Calif. in the 80s. I was shitting and puking at the same time. I was sooooo glad there was a trash can in my bathroom or it would have been a helluva mess.