Wednesday, October 12, 2011

if I were running for president

With my shamefully poor knowledge of history and my embarrassingly half-baked notions of economics and foreign policy, I can guarantee that I'd suck as president of the United States. But let's pretend for a moment that I am running for the highest office in the land. Imagine you're a reporter who's been given a chance to sit with me for an hour-- and further, you have carte blanche to ask me whatever you want, no matter how uncomfortable your questions might make me. Write up your list of questions for me and leave them in the comments. Over the next few days (or weeks, depending on how many questions appear), I'll make blog posts out of these questions and lay out my own political views. To be sure, some of your questions will catch me off guard and leave me fumbling to respond. That's OK: the main reason why I'm doing this is to help myself think out loud and figure out where I stand on the issues that confront the nation. Feel free to make your list of questions as long as you want, even if your questions run into the hundreds. I promise to respond to every single one of them, no matter how silly, discomfiting, rude, pointed, or complex.

One caveat, though, in two parts: (a) you get only one set of questions and no followups, so if you don't like the way I've responded to a given question, you can't hound me with further questions and expect me to answer them (I can't prevent anyone from writing followup questions, but I can elect to ignore them); and (b) your questions have to appear in the comments section of this post.

A quick word of advice: if you're late to the party, you might want to read over the questions that others have asked, so as to avoid repeating questions. I reserve the right to say "Asked and answered" to any question that feels like a repeat of a previous question.

You have until October 31 to submit your list of questions. I'll still be blogging as I normally do, so I'll link to this post in subsequent blog entries.

Fire away.



John said...

1. Do you see the current state of wealth distribution in the USA as a problem?

2. Do you believe government works best at the national or state/local level, for example should education and health care policy be a state or federal responsibility?

3. Do you support a balanced budget amendment to the Constitution?

4. Should the USA drill its own oil reserves (off shore, oil sands, and Alaska)or continue importing?

5. Do you see "crony capitalism" and corporate influence of government policy as a problem?

6. How would you deal with China's unfair trade and monetary practices?

7. How would you address state sponsored terrorism from nations like Iran?

8. Does the USA have the right or obligation to support popular revolts against tyrannical governments, for example, Syria?

9. Does the government do a better at creating jobs than free market capital?

10. What is your view on the fairness of current tax policy?


The Maximum Leader said...

Please explain if you believe the Federal budget should be balanced and how you would bring it into balance if that is your goal.

What about the hookers and blow in your past?

Please summarize your understanding of the role of the President in our existing political environment. Do not summarize ennumerated powers, this exercise is to determine how you would carry out your duties as Executive.

Can I use additional comments to ask additional (if unrelated) questions?

Kevin Kim said...

Interesting questions, gentlemen. I'll be providing lame answers soon.

Mike: one set of questions only, so it appears you've already shot your wad. Luckily, you asked meaty questions, and I'll have to think carefully about my answers.

The Maximum Leader said...


Charles said...

OK, I've tried to come up with thoughtful and insightful questions, but I think it's pretty apparent that I am lacking in both thought and insight, so here comes my unimpressive wad...

Q) What do you feel about America's image abroad? Do you think it needs changing? (Please explain the reasoning behind your answer.) If you do think it needs changing, what would you do to bring that change about?

Q) On that note... current President Obama gave UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown a gift of 25 DVDs--that turned out to be unwatchable on Brown's DVD player because they were Region 1. Do you think you would be able to choose a gift that would piss off the British media even more? What would it be? (Bonus question: would you use your presidential influence to get rid of the ridiculous region-based DRM on DVDs? Please?)

Q) How would your policy toward North Korea compare to that of your predecessors? Please be as specific as possible on how you would handle the man-child known as Kim Jong-il and his heir apparent (who, judging from photos, is a downright 붕어빵 of his father). Also, if you at any point decide to nuke Pyeongyang, will you give me a few days advance notice?

Q) A single man has not been elected president in the United States for over one hundred years, and only one president has ever remained single throughout his entire term in office (James Buchanan). Do you intend to run as a single candidate, or are you planning on picking up a Mrs. Hominid along the way?

Apologies for the lack of seriousness, but you know me and politics... like oil and water, we are.

hahnak said...

kevin, you slept with hookers and snorted cocaine?!?

Kevin Kim said...


I also slept on cocaine while snorting hookers. They smell funny.

Charles said...

@Hahna: And that's just Tuesday for Kevin. You should see what he does on Friday nights.

Anonymous said...

1) If elected, how will you deal with the fact that the "World Knowledge Forum" had a keynote speaker in Seoul. Does the rest of the world now think she is the best we have? How will you uphold the Nation's honor?

2) Can I test out all your interns before they 'work under' you?

American Patriot in Seoul

PS: Baba Booey, Baba Booey, Baba Booey