Monday, April 14, 2014

ode to three assholes (and a wrap-up of the day)

[Names changed and details left vague to protect the guilty.]

Professor X in 301
you're quite the piece of shit
you left the damn projector on
I had to deal with it

Professor Y in 205
you're Satan's little bitch
you also left equipment on
I curse you with jock itch

you rancid motherfuckers have
no thoughts but for yourselves
the profs who follow you are naught
I hope you're raped by elves

and now this verse, a screaming curse,
goes to the biggest dick
the dude who shat, but failed to flush
the toilet I did pick

I fail to fathom how he thinks
I cannot comprehend
what makes a man refuse to purge
what exits from his end

three assholes known by their effects
three men uncivilized
three men deserving of my hate
I piss into their eyes

Couldn't believe what a shitty day it was today. In both of my classes, the profs who had used the classrooms before me had left the data projectors on (thereby rendering the white boards useless because the projectors were projecting Microsoft desktop images onto them). They had also left class with the podium keys and the projectors' remote controls, thus making it impossible for me to deactivate the equipment and shut down the computers. (Classroom computers are housed in electronic podiums, which are locked unless you've got the key. Keys and remote controls can be obtained from a special office in the building that I teach in most frequently.) I had to waste time gimping back and forth to get a staffer to come and "take down" all the electronic equipment that had been left on. To add insult to injury, when I went into a bathroom cubicle to take a dump, I lifted the toilet seat's lid and saw that the idiot before me had taken a dump as well, and had neglected to flush his load. The expression break my foot off in yo' ass crossed my mind.

It would be nice if professors gave each other some collegial consideration and actually thought ahead enough to realize that a classroom needs to be fully prepped for the next teacher: erase the white boards, turn off the projectors and computers, and leave everything neat and tidy. It would also be nice if incontinent morons remembered to flush the goddamn toilet every time they used the fucking thing.

Otherwise, my day was fine. My beginners did a decent job with their midterm review, and my Absolute Beginner Korean students, down to only three today, performed well. I'm tired, though; I went to therapy and had to see Dr. Kim to get another prescription; he wrote me a scrip for five days' worth of pills this time. His observation is that I seem to be improving, although I'm not feeling it. I showed Dr. Kim my phone's pedometer; he was shocked at how much I walk every day: about 6,000 steps on average. While that's well short of my 10,000-step goal, Dr. Kim says that, if my healing is to progress, I need to be below 2,000 steps. I told him that was impossible, given that I have to walk to campus every day, and that I walk around campus while I'm there, especially now that my faculty office is separate from the building in which we teach.

NB: As of tonight, I walked 14,200 steps. My hip did hurt for a while, until I drugged myself up again. I think I'll sleep peacefully tonight.


King Baeksu said...

시골에 오신 것을 환영합니다!

Kevin Kim said...

Ha ha—thanks, S. So good to be among the 촌놈들.

King Baeksu said...

"So good to be among the 촌놈들."

Hey, I resemble that comment!