fantasy resolutions

These are the New Year's resolutions that I would make if I had the balls—and the money, and the time—to make them.

1. Get that gym membership again.

2. Sign up for taekwondo at the Ssangyong taekwondojang in the building where I work.

3. Sign up for boxing at the boxing gym I found up the street from where I live.

4. Sign up for haedong geomdo once I find a studio.

5. Sign up for hapkido lessons once I find a studio.

In the meantime, I've figured out where to get a good, intensive workout for free: my own building, which has a stairwell that runs twenty-six floors parallel to the elevator shafts. A Nebraskan friend of mine from college once put me through an insane, stairs-based workout that involved running up a floor, then running back down, then running up two floors, then running back to the bottom, then running up three floors, etc. As I said: insane. And we were in a dormitory that was only four or five stories tall; imagine twenty-six stories. I think I'm going to try a heavily modified version of that regimen: it'll build leg strength while also working the cardio angle; I don't have to worry about encountering a lot of people because most people avoid the stairs in favor of the elevators; it's sheltered, so I'll never have to worry about weather; because the floors are clearly demarcated, I can easily measure my progress; if I ever get bored, there's that park that sits right next to my building.

My own version of the insane Nebraskan workout will be much more modest: on Day 1, I'll start at the first floor and walk upstairs until I have to stop. On Days 2-4, I'll walk up to that same level. On day 5, I'll try to beat that record. On Days 6-8, I'll walk up to that same high point. On Day 9, I'll once again try to beat that record. And so on. When I make it from the first floor to the 26th floor without stopping, I'll declare that a minor victory. The next milestone, after that, will be walking up the entire building twice. If I can walk up 52 floors without stopping, I'll be ready to tackle Daemosan again. By that point, the weather ought to be warmer.

So: I've laid out the fantasy for you, and I've also laid out the practical reality. I need to get back to losing weight and getting heart-fit again. I've let myself go ever since I moved to Goyang; 2015 was a terrible year for me in terms of fitness. 2016 needs to be the year I begin to redeem myself. Oh, and another fantasy: take a ballroom-dancing class. But I won't be doing that until I stop being so sweaty. Whenever that might be.


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