what a cock

2017's lunar new year will mark the Year of the Rooster—or the "Year of the Cock," as per the indelicate wording on those paper place mats you find in Chinese restaurants in America. Having been born in 1969, I'm a rooster, fortunately or unfortunately: this is the year I turn 48, an age that's divisible by 12. That is, in fact, how you can remember the animal associated with your year of birth: if your age is evenly divisible by 12 this year, it's the year of your animal! Congratulations! The twelve animals of the Chinese zodiac each cycle around every twelve years, but the actual calendar takes sixty years to go through a whole cycle (there are a lot of "stems" and "branches"... it's complicated). This is why Koreans traditionally throw a bigger-than-usual party—called a hwan-gap—for people turning sixty: such folks have survived a complete cycle of the zodiac which, back in the day, was a noteworthy accomplishment. These days, age sixty is increasingly seen as... if not young, then certainly not old, so there's less of a "Congrats! You survived!" vibe at today's sixty-year parties. As for me: one more trip through the Chinese cosmic menagerie, and it'll be time for my own hwan-gap. How short life is, eh?

Year of da Cock. Dat's right—my year. Suck it, baby.