Saturday, January 07, 2017

your Gedankenexperiment for the day

The Free Dictionary is an online dictionary with a nifty section devoted to listing idioms. I went to the page showcasing "horse" idioms, which is here. Your assignment is to visit that page, scan the plethora of idioms... then mentally replace "horse" with "whore." I love how this changes everything.

a whore of a different color
don't put the cart before the whore
damn—I've got a charley whore
beating a dead whore
so hungry I could eat a whore
straight from the whore's mouth
whoa, whoa—hold your whores
don't look a gift whore in the mouth
get off your high whore
I gotta piss like a racewhore
you can lead a whore to water...
ah, that old warwhore

I got the idea for the above from my brothers, with whom I often joke about Asians speaking English with an Asian accent. There are, of course, many different Asian accents—thus many different ways to mispronounce English—and when my brothers pick on the Chinese, they often focus on how the Chinese omit final-consonant sounds. "Come to my house," for example, becomes "Come to my how." So imagine "horse" pronounced the Chinese way.


TheBigHenry said...

Shouldn't that be "Come on my horse"?

Kevin Kim said...

I don't know. Should it? There's an innocent way to interpret that locution... and there's a not-so-innocent way.

A: Come on my horse.
B: Does your horse enjoy that sort of thing?

TheBigHenry said...

There are two ways of interpreting "Come on my horse":

A. Arrive on my horse (if my horse is my means of transportation).

B. Come on my horse, as in climax on my horse.

As for whether or not my horse enjoys either of those, I can not say, because I don't actually have a horse.