Tuesday, December 27, 2005

pussy shots

This is Mozart, the one-eyed family cat.




Mozart is ancient, but in this series of photos, he will prove he is in no need of Viagra.




Arn will recognize the black Ron Jon tee shirt, above and following, which he got me as a gift during my four-hour sojourn to the Cocoa Beach area. Ron Jon is, according to Arn, the most famous surf shop in town. Our cat is about to endorse Ron Jon products.

Behold:




Yes, Virginia, our cat is dry-humping clothing. Pretty horrific, eh? But there's more:





"Unh... unh..."

Perhaps "horrific" isn't the right word. "Pathetic" comes to mind: why in hell would a neutered cat try to bond with a tee shirt?

If you listen carefully, you hear the shirt moaning, "Nail me with all fifteen millimeters, big boy!"

The twisted ritual continues as kitty takes it down the home stretch--




And now: the cat congratulates himself on a job well done by performing his trademark "porn star" move. Nothing says "Way to go!" quite like burying your face in your own crotch.





I suspect this cat might live another eighteen years, seeing how he likes sucking his life force out of himself.


_

1 comment:

It's Me, Maven... said...

Ahhh, we're all just jealous of Mozart's limberness (is that a word?). If I could do that, I'd never leave the house.

PS: I was thinking how deliciously amusing and redundant that last picture would be, had Mozart been a female.