Friday, February 03, 2006

shitty links

Sperwer sent me this link (not work safe in terms of audio OR visual), which was a fresh start to my Friday. It's an eye/brain test. See how well you fare.

A while ago, the Maven sent me this link to a French animated game called "La machine à caca" (The Poop Machine), which is actually a game for kids to learn about balanced nutrition. The game tells kids how to eat healthy by showing them how the foods you eat can affect your shit's consistency. The French is poorly spelled at some points, which at first made me wonder whether the game had even been designed by a Frenchman... then I remembered that a lot of French folks can't spell. The game is cute, but the sound effects are rather frank.

Speaking of shit-- I wish I'd photoblogged a recent bowel movement* for you. It rates in my memory as one of the most disgusting children I've ever produced. It happened earlier this week, and was the direct result of too much pasta plus too much Metamucil (for those who don't know: Metamucil is a dietary supplement in powdered form that both supplies fiber and makes defecation easier; I don't normally use it, but since I've been sick...).

Result: CANARY-YELLOW SHIT. I just about laughed out loud when I saw the firm little logs sitting there, like fat guys in a jacuzzi, at the bottom of my toilet bowl. Standard Metamucil is orange-colored and flavored like Tang, the artificial orange drink. This may be why the shit was yellow. Dye-gestion.

*In his latest post, Charles at Liminality explains why he'd never, ever do this.



Anonymous said...

Actually, there are two reasons why I would not post about my bowel movements. Firstly, I haven't had any artistic bowel movements for quite some time. Secondly, my entries usually run at least 1500 words, and I'm not sure if I could squeeze that many words out of feces.

But it's not like feces is taboo or anything. The point of the entry (which I guess I failed to make) was that most of my filters apply to my observations and opinions of others. In other words, I have no problem talking about personal things, but I try not to talk about others too much (at least in a negative light) if I can help it.

For all I know, though, I was just talking out of my butt and only succeeded in reinforcing whatever image it is that I project. Which is why I'm glad I always have the comment section here to let my hair down.

On to the feces: Once, during my second year in university, I drank a quart of grape Kool-Aid over a period of about an hour while playing Sega NHL Hockey. After finishing the quart, I made a deposit at Porcelain Savings & Loan. Much to my surprise, the logs were not purple, but green, like rotting logs in the forest overgrown with moss and lichen. In fact, that's exactly what they looked like (except maybe not quite as big). My flatmates all agreed that I had made an important discovery, not to mention very pastoral and artistic little turds.

Unfortunately, my bowel movements these days have been far less interesting.

Kevin Kim said...

I think I was riffing off this passage, from early in your piece:

"Anyone who knows me well and who also reads Liminality will tell you that this website does not offer a complete picture of its author. It’s not that I deliberately try to portray myself as something that I am not, but I am very selective about what I do allow to get through my filters."

There are other passages that say something similar: Liminality isn't a place where we can discover the author's innermost thoughts (cf. your discussion of "private" journals).


"Now, if you’re willing to accept the consequences of putting yourself out there on the internet, live and uncensored, more power to you. Me, I’m not prepared to do that. So what you get here at Liminality is me, but it’s not the full me."

The above sounds like "Charles on Charles," not "Charles on other people."

True: you did say that, when writing about yourself, you would be brutally honest, but to me it sounded as though you were also saying that you would be very selective about what you revealed about yourself.

I've misread people's writing before, though, so I'm willing to receive my thirty blows if I've tripped up in this instance.

As for the green shit... damn, man, you nasty.


Anonymous said...

Ah, OK. I can see where you got that. I guess it made sense to me when I wrote it, since I already know what I meant. Whenever I talk about censoring or filtering myself, though, I'm talking about my thoughts on other people. I almost never decide not to post something about myself because of any fear of "putting myself out there." I say "almost never" because there was one entry that I began to write but then stopped because I decided it was too personal. But, for the most part, I have no problem talking about myself.

I don't know how much of this you got from our one meeting, but I am a hypercritical person. And I can be very caustic as well when I put my mind to it. So when I say that Liminality is not the full me, that's what I'm referring to: it's the critical, caustic side of my personality that gets filtered out (at least to some extent). Depending on how you look at it, this is still being selective about what I reveal about myself (ie, I choose not to reveal that I can be a real prick if I put my mind to it).

Does that make sense? 'Cause it always dismays me when I fail to convey a point. I somehow feel as if I have failed the gods of language and communication.

Maven said...

I can tell you something about the color-to-feces experiment that IS my diet. Usually my cravings dictate what I have for dinner, and it is not uncommon for me to sit down and inhale a 1/4 lb of pistaschios, or a big salad which contains a lot of tomatoes and pickled beets. In the former, you will give birth to the most shockingly GREEN turd; in the second, it will have you on the brink of a do-it-your-self-colonoscopy to find out where you're bleeding.

The very best turd story I've heard recently involves the son of CrankyProf (of Cranky Epistles on my sidepanel), wherein her youngest child excreted a STARK BLUE SHIT. We're talking a SMURF SHIT. Turns out the kid got into the crayons and blue Play Doh. Good thing both are non-toxic!

In your canary yellow and in this Smurf Blue Shit, I am disappointed by the lack of photoblogging.

I can just imagine the dialogue you had with your rectum as you pinched off that jaundicey loaf.


Maven said...

Post Script:

I do believe that whomever generated that La Machine a caca actually swiped my audio from my fart blog entry. How do I follow thru to sue for copyright infringement on my fart?

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