Monday, December 31, 2012

Charles tackles "The Hobbit"

Click here for the most detailed analysis/apologia of Peter Jackson's "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey" that you're ever likely to read. I haven't read it through yet, but I've been told that the entire article weighs in-- pre-editing-- at over 13,000 words, which earns Charles's piece the label Not for the Timid. Enjoy. I know I will.


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2 comments:

  1. I did manage to edit it down a bit, so the final version comes in at under 13,000 words (but still well over 12,000, so, yeah, definitely not for the timid).

    There were also points in the edit that I resisted adding corny jokes (like one about how Gandalf got to ride Don Henley when the Eagles came to rescue them) for the sake of keeping the word count down.

    It was probably for the best.

    ReplyDelete
  2. As Mojo Nixon sang:

    This is the sound of my brain.

    Then I said, this is the sound of my brain on Don Henley!

    Then I said, 1 2 3 4...

    He's a tortured artist
    Used to be in the Eagles
    Now he whines
    Like a wounded beagle
    Poet of despair!
    Pumped up with hot air!
    He's serious, pretentious
    And I just don't care
    Don Henley must die!
    Don't let him get back together
    With Glenn Frey!
    Don Henley must die!

    Turn on the TV
    And what did I see?
    This bloated, hairy thing
    Winning a Grammy
    Best Rock Vocalist?
    Compared to what?
    But your pseudo-serious
    Crafty Satanic blot
    Don Henley must die!
    Put a sharp stick in his eye!
    Don Henley must die!
    Yeah yeah yeah

    Quit playin' that crap
    You're out of the band

    I'm only kidding
    Can't you tell?
    I love his sensitive music
    Idiot poetry, swell
    You and your kind
    Are killing rock and roll
    It's not because you are O L D
    It's cause you ain't got no soul!
    Don't be afraid of fun
    Loosen up your ponytail!
    Be wild, young, free and dumb
    Get your head out of your tail
    Don Henley must die!
    Don't let him get back together
    With Glenn Frey!

    Don Henley must die!
    Put him in the electric chair
    Watch him fry!
    Don Henley must die
    Don Henley must die
    No Eagles reunion
    The same goes for you, Sting!

    ReplyDelete

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