It's been years since some random stranger tried to strike up a conversation with me while I was walking along and minding my own business, but it happened tonight, and the incident brought my mind right back to the 1990s, when it was a lot more common for random Koreans to walk up to foreigners and say cringe-inducing things like, "Will you be my friend?" In retrospect, I realize now that this sort of behavior wasn't so much an awkward attempt at establishing an actual friendship as it was a weaselly way to get free English lessons: you wouldn't charge a friend for those lessons, would you? That still doesn't make such behavior right or any less awkward, especially for us introverts. And you can be sure that random Koreans don't accost each other this way. There's something very other about foreigners that can make certain Koreans behave quite strangely. Or more precisely, that held true in the 90s when I was a relative youth in my twenties. These days, Korea's a lot more globalized; there are way more expats spread all across the country, and even though I still get rude stares in Seoul from older people who act as if they're slack-jawed country bumpkins, the problem of being randomly accosted has mostly gone away.
Until tonight.
"Sir?" said a voice behind and to my left as I walked along the subway platform, intent on getting to my little apartment. I turned.
A young man of about college age was there, and he started asking me questions, at one point justifying his talking to me by saying that there aren't many foreigners in this part of town. I was incredulous when I heard that: I work in the Daechi district, which is famous for having tons of cram schools, most of them with a significant foreign staff. My own company houses many of its employees in Daecheong Tower, only two subway stops away from Daechi district. There are plenty of foreigners to see along the Daechi-Daecheong axis. So I told my interlocutor that Daecheong Tower houses a lot of foreigners, and he gave a politely appreciative "oh." He peppered me with questions that felt personal but not overly personal—Where are you from? America? Where in America? Virginia? Ah, by Washington, DC! What do you do here in Seoul? I started getting antsy. This was like talking to a cabbie.
Instinctively, I kept my eye contact to a minimum, didn't smile, and did my best to give off an "I'm on my way somewhere, if you please" vibe. I did ask the young man what he did, and he said he was a student. Past the subway gates and about halfway across the subway station's main concourse, the guy suddenly said, "Well, have a good afternoon," and left as I gave a noncommittal "Okay." I guess he got the hint. Maybe he thought I'd be all bright-eyed and ready for some sort of cultural exchange, but I'm in my mid-fifties, so I'm fairly jaded. He'd have been better off talking with a young foreign woman who was new to Korea.
As I walked on alone, I had a supremely weird and paranoid thought that crystallized once I was inside my apartment: what if he dropped a bug in my bag? I'd been toting along a reusable shopping bag, and while the thought was both unworthy and outlandish, I did actually pull out my personal items from the bag to check for a bug. There was, as you can imagine, nothing out of the ordinary.
I'm relieved the encounter was relatively brief, but it did send my mind back to the 90s, back to when being randomly accosted was one of the hazards of living and working in the Jongno part of downtown Seoul. At least the guy didn't get too personal with his questions, and he never tried the Can we be friends? tactic. Thank God for that. I just hope I never see him again, but I have a sinking feeling that I will.
This reminds me, somewhat obliquely, of another encounter with a stranger. It happened when the weather was warmer, some years back. There was this much older Korean who spoke excellent English; he walked up to me while I was loitering outside the apartment building, and he started talking to me. He sounded very educated; I don't remember the content of the conversation too well, but I think it ranged from art to philosophy to other heady matters. I began to realize that this was one of those people who isn't interested in talking with you but is very interested in talking at you, i.e., lecturing. The kind of person who, once he starts jabbering, has no sense of when to shut up. I eventually had to conjure up some excuse to get away from him, and while he did try to keep talking with me, I managed to escape.
What is with some people?
I don't recall that ever happening to me in Korea, but then, I was one of many foreigners in Itaewon. Well, there were times I'd be enjoying a bar beverage and a woman would sit down next to me and ask for a drink. But that's different...
ReplyDeletePeople are friendly here in the PI, and I frequently get shouted-out greetings as I pass by on a hike. Never more than "What's your name?" or "Where are you going?" though.
The Jongno district has a lot of language schools, so it could be that most of the creepy folks hang out in that area. But I recall being accosted elsewhere, too.
ReplyDeleteI cannot remember the last time I was accosted by someone who was not crazy. And, yes, I mean someone with actual mental issues. My most recent encounter was several years ago now (in the Before Times), when I was heading back home from Yonsei, and a woman started following me. Not talking to me, just very obviously following me. I would stop to let her walk by... and she would stop and wait. I could see by the look in her eyes that she was not all there, so I tried being patient, but eventually I just got too creeped out and yelled at her to stop following me. This did not work. She actually followed me all the way to the subway station, at which point I realized that I had to do something. When the train pulled in, I got on. She dutifully followed. I positioned myself by the door, and when it started to close I made like Jason Bourne and leaped back onto the platform. Then I turned around and waved as the train took her away. I figured she might get off at the next stop and wait for me, so I found another way home. Freaking ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was younger, I did occasionally get random girls who wanted to be more than just friends, but I don't have to worry about that anymore, now that I am an old man.
C,
ReplyDeleteI remember when you and I were downtown, and that one crazy lady marched up to us and demanded (in English) to know whether we spoke Spanish, then hilariously accused us both of being liars when we said no. I consider myself to be some kind of asshole attractor, e.g., when I'm in a movie theater, I'll end up with a talker or a cell-phone user one seat away from me. But in this lady's case, maybe you were the attractor.
I had totally forgotten about that. Dear god... I must be some kind of crazy attractor!
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