Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Ave, Skippy!

Skippy, the most dangerous Canuck I know, deserves a Pulitzer. He is truly an amazing, gifted writer. His most recent post, which deals at least partly with the media beast known as Katie Couric, had me laughing until I was hiccuping.

Skippy on why he wants to fuck Katie Couric:

To begin with, Katie looks awfully goddamned good for 50. Most women have no right looking like that at that age. Look, I understand that she might not be your type, but you've got to admit that she should have a lot more mileage on her than she appears to. There are women out there who look like they sprinted face first into a brick wall at 35, and by the time they hit 50, they appear to have actually been exhumed for your big date. All things beings equal, Couric has held together pretty well for a woman of her... vintage.

Skippy on Katie's contribution to that media bastion, CBS:

Without any apparent effort at all, Katie Couric accomplished what focused, polished and practiced monsters like Mao Zedong and Dan Rather could not: she destroyed a once-proud empire all by herself.

Skippy on his suitability for network news:

I use words like "cocksucker" and "fuckmitten" with a regularity that makes me entirely unsuitable for the anchor chair, but which would qualify me to be the greatest network executive ever.

At the risk of betraying Skippy here, I present what I consider the meat of his post:

The networks responded to declining revenue in a novel way: they brought in the suits from the entertainment divisions to run the show. The entertainment idiots did what entertainment idiots always do, they threw boatloads of money at established talent. Unfortunately, the money that was given to demented yokels like Dan Rather was money that was cut from other areas. These areas [included] the collection and [dissemination] of the fucking news, which is a minor part [of] that department's mission statement.

Ever wonder why you hear so much about Paris Hilton and O.J Simpson? Ask yourself where the entertainment divisions of the networks are in relation to where Paris lives and you're well on the path to Truth.

The results were predictable. Television news became so personality driven that no one with a reading comprehension level higher than your average third-grader took it seriously anymore. It used to be that the success of a news division was decided by the quality of the reporting that it presented. However, in the last thirty years, the six o'clock news has become an even more [bizarre] extension of Hollywood, with worse hair and a complete [absence] of dance routines and obnoxious breast implants. Modern journalism is what pornography would be without the beauty, dedication or talent.

"Demented yokel." I busted a gut reading that line.

Fabulous post. Go read it. Skippy: some of my female readers might have a thing or two to say to you about why Couric is so well-preserved. Just a heads-up.



Anonymous said...

Not only do you reprint the meat of his post, you leave out a link to the original! Now I've got to go trek down to your sidebar (which is actually an underbar for me... am I the only one who has this problem?).

*grumble grumble*

Malcolm Pollack said...

How about a link, my man?

Kevin Kim said...

Link inserted, slowly and lovingly.


I haven't seen an underbar on my blog in a long, long time. I used to see it often in the early days, but haven't had any complaints from anyone in years.

The underbar phenomenon used to occur when I slapped up links that were too long. Instead of warping to the next line, they mysteriously widened the main text column, thereby pushing the sidebar down to the bottom. Just about every underbar-related problem I've had has had something to do with an over-wide main text column. On rare occasions, the problem was some element in the sidebar-- an over-wide graphic, for instance.

But on my Mac at home and on my computer at the office (as well as at various PC-bahng computers), I haven't seen the underbar in ages. It's been smooth sailing for quite a while, now.

Does the underbar appear no matter which browser you're using? Does it disappear if you shrink your text and/or widen the browser window as much as possible? I wonder what the problem is, and whether anyone else has been suffering silently all this time.


Anonymous said...

To answer your questions, yes, it appears no matter what browser I try (although I normally use Firefox and have only now peeked at your site in IE just to see if it makes a difference--it doesn't), and no, it does not disappear if I stretch my browser window (I even extended it so it covers both of my monitors and still no dice) or reduce the text size. I've always just assumed that it was a quirk in the template you were using.

I can send you a stitched-together screen shot if you want.