Tuesday, February 23, 2016


Chicken shawarmas!

I took seven rock-solid frozen chicken breasts (that's 3.5 chickens who sacrificed their tits so that we could enjoy our meal), thawed them for 90 minutes, then sliced them thinly to simulate the shaved-off effect of slicing chicken off the rotisserie. I fried the chicken in massive amounts of butter and olive oil, drained most of the oil away, threw in my spice/seasoning/herb mixture, and fried those chicken tits up until the bottom layer of meat got nice and crispy. I diced up some higher-than-normal-quality tomatoes, crumbled another brick of feta, sliced up some olives and Korean chili peppers (gochu), gathered up my naan, and took the whole hot mess to work, where I fed shawarmas to my boss and my coworker.

Success. Everybody ate two. "You can't stop at just one," my boss joked, evoking the old commercials. Next time around, I'll chop the chicken into chunkier bits, then serve the chicken (seasoned the same way) atop couscous with feta, tomatoes, and figs.



pitchfest said...

Looks great. But I feel the need to point out that 'chicken tits' is anatomically incorrect. Tits refer to teats, which are not the same as breasts. The function of the chicken breast is also akin to a swimmer's pectoral muscles rather than mammary glands.

Kevin Kim said...

Sigh... everyone's a damn critic.

My boss also loudly announced, "I don't see any nipples!" when I mentioned "chicken tits" to him, so he's obviously thinking the way you are.

In my defense, I was thinking of "tit" as a substitute for "breast" on the human form. The word "breast" has a vague semantic field: it can mean a mammary gland. Then again, "I felt a pang in my breast as I watched my son depart" doesn't refer specifically to mammary glands, but to something that is paradoxically abstract and situated in the thoracic region. Anyway, "He lovingly cupped her breast" and "He lovingly cupped her tit" seem almost synonymous to me, except in terms of the level of crudeness.

Admittedly, the human imagery doesn't transfer over that well to the avian, so I'm not really rejecting your point, PEDANTIC THOUGH IT BE.

Bratfink said...

I'm behind you on the chicken tits!