Friday, October 22, 2004

should Bill Clinton head up the UN?

Via Drudge, this lovely article about Bill Clinton's latest political ambitions. There are good and bad points to having WJC as UN Secretary General.

Pros:

1. A large podium can hide several women at once for those mid-speech blowjobs.

2. The General Assembly's main hall will always smell like fried chicken and hamburger.

3. Clinton, like it or not, is an American, and therefore One of Ours. We need One of Ours to infiltrate the UN as deeply-- no, deeper! DEEPER!-- as possible.

4. A golden chance for Clinton to feel the world's pain... or at least squeeze its tits.

5. We might finally see devout Muslims drinking beer in public. While ogling centerfolds.


Cons:

1. Concern for his own legacy will drive Clinton to declare himself Eternal Grand All-Bubba.

2. Clinton will make visionary pronouncements, and then fail to act properly on them. (As Republicans routinely point out, Clinton was remarkably prescient about Saddam.)

3. More meaningless treaties, agreements, and compromises.

4. Postmodernists will rejoice while the rest of us weep: Clinton will insist that the word "is" has no place in the English language.

5. The prospect, post-Bill, of a UN under Hillary.

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