Thursday, February 03, 2005

rap exegesis

Dear White People,

Yes, I'm talking to you, you lily-pale, oppressing motherfucker. To you, the guy over there who'd never admit he's attracted to black women, but who sports a tiny, white-dick hard-on whenever Cherelle and her booty walk by your cubicle.

White People, you know you don't have the first fucking clue what black folks are talking about. You think you know; you like borrowing certain black expressions and keeping them current in the white community long after they've passed out of fashion among black folks. You think that saying, "Whoop-- my bad" or ending your declaratives with "yo" gives you Eminem cachet. Mired in the forest of ignorance, not even the Black Buddha can save your punk ass.

Well, cheer up: your white-so-white prayers have been answered. Go visit Glenn and marvel at a first-rate translation of rap lyrics into White-ese, a linguistic feat not soon to be matched by any racist, cracker-ass, slave-driving, cornbread-eating, buck-toothed, sister-fuckin' white bo'.


The Off-white

UPDATE: The Maven sends me the following link. Enjoy.


No comments: