post-Namsan fashion emergency

Large people have a small surface area-to-volume ratio, which means that, when they heat up, it takes longer for them to cool off than it does for smaller folks. This is a basic physical principle known to anyone who cooks: it's faster to cook a large volume of meat by cubing it than to leave it as one enormous chunk.

I went up Namsan earlier today, went back to my apartment, basked in the air conditioning for a few minutes, then hurriedly showered and went out to teach my 3:05PM class.

At 2:40PM, the time I left my dorm, the weather had radically changed: the sun was beating down with a vengeance. I was still radiating heat from the Namsan walk, and this new, cruel sun wasn't helping matters. In the six minutes it took me to walk to the shaded entrance of Smoo's underground parking garage, my grey tee shirt became dotted with sweat. It was only when I stepped inside the elevator that I saw, in the elevator's mirrored wall, that an enormous, shiny dark patch of wetness had formed right where my navel is.

Dammit.

When I reached the third floor of my building, I went straight to the men's restroom, stepped inside a cubicle, and removed my tee shirt. I fanned myself a bit to help the sweat evaporate. Then, hairy mantits flapping wildly, I put my button-down shirt back on while my skin was still damp. Because I had decided I would risk teaching class without the protection of my usual tee, it was imperative to cool down as quickly as possible. To that end, I moved to the air conditioning unit in our office and stood there, stock still, for as long as possible before class began. My buddy and colleague Tom saw me there.

"Tell me if you plan to fart," he said as my shirt billowed from the cool updraft.

Ah, sweet release. Yeeeeeessss, Preciousss.... we farts on them all!

But, no: I didn't fart.

By the time I had finished the cooling process, things were more or less under control, thank Jeebus.

And then I went to class.


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