Wednesday, March 08, 2006


A friend of mine recently taught me the term "cankles," which he says is American slang. Being an American, I thought I knew a lot of American slang. But, no: the word "cankles," it turns out, is a contraction of "calf" and "ankles," and refers to women whose calves and ankles are the same width. This can apply to both fat and skinny girls. One would think the term could also apply to us guys, but my friend assures me it's a word generally reserved for women.

Being a calf man myself, I'm instinctively turned off by the mental image of cankles, though I don't recall ever having seen them on chicks ranging from ectomorphic to somewhat rotund. The only bona fide cankles I've ever seen have been on extremely fat folks-- men and women. By "extremely," I mean "wider than they are tall." The morbidly obese.

Let's concentrate on calves for a sec, though. I don't have a calf fetish, but I do find a nice pair of calves to be a very sexy attribute on a woman. Women who run long distances usually have amazing, well-defined calves, the kind that are begging for a long massage. The calf muscle is the perfect size for pleasant kneading-- almost as if God decided to slap tits on women's legs. I stare unbashedly when I see shapely calves, which are rarer than a shapely pair of hooters. Female chests are nearly all the beneficiaries of modern technology these days; a woman without inflatable globes is something of a precious commodity (sure, I'll stare at the silicone, but I prefer the naturals).

I wonder, sometimes, why I don't hang around runners more. Those're the folks who've got it going; I should be frequenting their hangouts and taking in the scenery.

Then I look down at my gut and realize why I don't hang around runners. Mainly because, once they start moving, there's no way I can keep up with them, short of lassoing one and riding behind her on skis or in-line skates.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Try dancers...