Friday, January 25, 2013

Dear Diarrhée

Dear Perplexed,

First, please remember that you live in America and should therefore tuck your period inside the quotation mark. You're not a snaggle-toothed Brit, and as a grown woman you should know how to dispose of your periods.

Second, this is your chance to break out the Princess Leia slave-girl outfit and not answer to any name other than "Princess Clitoria of Kuna Linga." Then you whip out your laser dildo and engage in that mystical activity that surrounds, penetrates, and binds us all together.

And remember: size has no meaning. It matters not.


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