I didn't even know that "nuisance bleeding" was an actual term, but apparently it is.
I'm a nuisance bleeder. I bleed from all sorts of random spots on my body-- tiny bleeds whose origins remain a mystery. I often wonder whether the bleeds result from my zealous daily consumption of aspirin (four tablets a day), which can act as a blood-thinner. Today, I blew my nose to rather scarlet results, so I can add nosebleeds to my long list of nuisance bleeds. Most of my exsanguinary incidents occur on my forearms, my thighs, my back, my ass, or my calves. A rare few occur in the dark, cavernous regions where Shelob makes her fetid home.
Nuisance bleeding is a huge inconvenience because it means I have to take special care of a certain article of clothing, or I have to clean up a droplet of blood that's mysteriously appeared on the carpet, or I have to use a spray-cleaner to scrub down a piece of furniture onto which I'm losing blood.
More than anything else, these bleeds are annoying-- hence the term nuisance. They certainly aren't painful: most of the time, I have no idea why they even start. One bleed happened, just recently, above my right eye, in the hollow where the upper orbit and the bridge of my nose meet. I don't recall scratching myself there, or poking myself with a pin, so what gives?
Maybe it's aliens. Aliens having a little fun. Maybe they're sampling my DNA and constructing an army of Kevins therefrom.
_
Friday, January 25, 2013
nuisance bleeding
3 comments:
READ THIS BEFORE COMMENTING!
All comments are subject to approval before they are published, so they will not appear immediately. Comments should be civil, relevant, and substantive. Anonymous comments are not allowed and will be unceremoniously deleted. For more on my comments policy, please see this entry on my other blog.
AND A NEW RULE (per this post): comments critical of Trump's lying must include criticism of Biden's lying on a one-for-one basis! Failure to be balanced means your comment will not be published.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Why are you eating so much aspirin?
ReplyDeleteJust lucky, I guess.
ReplyDeleteFor the nose bleeds: Get thee some Boroleum ointment and slather your snotlocker liberally with it.
ReplyDeleteFor the nuissance spot bleeding, get a styptic pen. Dip it in water, dab on the bleeds. You can find it in the shaving supply section of pharmacies, and of course Amazon.