There is a certain class of men who wait around for young starlets to turn eighteen. These men may not be the most cognizant of Hollywood's goings-on, but they're aware enough to know when a famous chick is nearing her legal majority and entering the full bloom of young womanhood. It's the "American Beauty" syndrome writ large, I think; a lot of guys from their late twenties to their late fifties are randy little fuckers-- sexually frustrated Kevin Spaceys chasing tight-assed little Mena Suvaris.
I've known guys like this. "Just think," they say with a leer, "Next year, Christina Ricci's eighteen!"
Or Natalie Portman. Or Miley Cyrus.
What's sad is the subtext. The pitiful fantasy is that, once a famous girl turns eighteen, she'll leap into the air like a fairy, spread her legs, and parachute vagina-first onto some random guy's stiff dick. As if any of these sorry assholes has a shot at the prize.
Oh, well. A man can dream, I guess.
By the way, Chloë Grace Moretz turns eighteen on February 10, 2015. Can't wait.
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Friday, February 08, 2013
the randy cohort
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I think Jeffrey Dean Morgan is first in line. He is her co-star in three of her recent/future films, and if you watch Texas Killing Fields, he seems a little bit too into her for it just to be acting.
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