Friday, February 08, 2013

the randy cohort

There is a certain class of men who wait around for young starlets to turn eighteen. These men may not be the most cognizant of Hollywood's goings-on, but they're aware enough to know when a famous chick is nearing her legal majority and entering the full bloom of young womanhood. It's the "American Beauty" syndrome writ large, I think; a lot of guys from their late twenties to their late fifties are randy little fuckers-- sexually frustrated Kevin Spaceys chasing tight-assed little Mena Suvaris.

I've known guys like this. "Just think," they say with a leer, "Next year, Christina Ricci's eighteen!"

Or Natalie Portman. Or Miley Cyrus.

What's sad is the subtext. The pitiful fantasy is that, once a famous girl turns eighteen, she'll leap into the air like a fairy, spread her legs, and parachute vagina-first onto some random guy's stiff dick. As if any of these sorry assholes has a shot at the prize.

Oh, well. A man can dream, I guess.

By the way, Chloë Grace Moretz turns eighteen on February 10, 2015. Can't wait.


1 comment:

John from Daejeon said...

I think Jeffrey Dean Morgan is first in line. He is her co-star in three of her recent/future films, and if you watch Texas Killing Fields, he seems a little bit too into her for it just to be acting.