treadmill

One of the problems with getting on a diet/exercise plan is that, when you commit to it, you really can't go back. Going back, slacking off, means de-training, and de-training can happen in a matter of days.

This state of affairs can be problematic. Let's say that I have, like tonight, a chance to leave work early and go shopping in Itaewon for a small backpack with a hip belt. Normally, when I leave work on a Friday night, I do a 140-minute walk. If I cab out to Itaewon tonight, I lose a day's exercise because I'll be back home fairly late (Itaewon is across town). Tomorrow, Saturday, I do my long walk, so maybe skipping exercise today is not so bad. But I've developed a conscience, now, and skipping exercise seems somehow deeply wrong. I think what I'd rather do is postpone the Itaewon trip until tomorrow morning or early afternoon so I can walk tonight.

I call this thinking a function of my conscience, but could it not also indicate that I am becoming a slave to the treadmill I'm on? It's a dark thought if you contemplate it too deeply. I'm in a weird place right now: I've lost a good bit of weight, but I haven't figured out how to lose the rest, nor have I figured out the formula for maintaining my goal weight once I reach it. I'm tacitly relying on the upcoming walk to push my weight down into the 90-some-kilogram range, getting me closer to my final goal of 90 kg. But what happens after? To maintain 90 kilos... what do I do? I don't want to go back on Newcastle, but I also know I can't ratchet up the exercise infinitely. I feel a bit trapped.

Anyway, I'll walk tonight, meditate further on this problem, and hopefully arrive at some kind of solution by the time I'm back from Busan.