Sunday, April 03, 2022

Klaus und Smaug (with non-apologies to Joni Mitchell)

folds his clothes with tender care
and tosses pizza dough in air
you ask for help; he's always there
at any time of day

he works out and has iron buns
they hypnotize most everyone
the women touch them just for fun
"I'm married," Klaus will say

I've looked at Klaus from all sides now
from up and down, and still somehow
it's Klaus's buns that make me bawl
I really don't know Klaus at all

blowing fire in the air
his eyes do flash, his nostrils flare
he'll take your gold without a care
then crush you with his tail

try to riddle him in vain
he wants to see you writhe in pain
if you dare enter his demesne
you're guaranteed to fail

attacking Smaug from all sides now
you may as well just fuck a cow
if you think you'll drag off a haul
you really don't know Smaug at all



4 comments:

  1. Did I miss something? What inspired this creative effort?

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  2. Joni Mitchell's "Both Sides Now" is experiencing a bit of a revival thanks to the movie "CODA," featured at the recent Oscars, in which a character sings the song. Mitchell's yet another liberal loon, so I thought the time was right to pay a little tribute.

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  3. Ah! I'm so out of touch I've never even heard of CODA. Used to be a big Mitchell fan. Still like the music, and Both Sides Now is one of my favorites.

    Good job!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Not to worry. I don't think many people had heard of "CODA" before its nomination. The title is apparently an acronym for "Child Of Deaf Adults," along with being the term for the end of a piece of music (a coda). The story actually sounds interesting, but I listened to one deaf person's review on YouTube: she liked the movie overall but said it engaged in some pretty typical stereotypes about deaf people, and the lead actress in the film was obviously not fluent in American Sign Language, as she should have been, given the role she was playing. Still, I might track the movie down.

    ReplyDelete

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