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Technically, it's: "I act as if I know everything." Don't use like before a clause.

Remove the comma before "until."

Tuck the periods inside the quotation marks.

having a bad day

And suddenly, I want a 7-Eleven hot dog with that nasty chili and cheese.

No comma before "because."

Again, tuck the period inside the quotation mark.

Where to begin? (1) Don't capitalize the first "This"; (2) don't capitalize "Gazpacho"; (3) place a vocative comma before "Ma'am"; (4) place a period after "Ma'am"; (5) place a vocative comma after "Very well"; (6) don't capitalize the second "This."

If you've established, in previous sentences, that you're ending your sentences with periods, then your final sentence ought to end with a period, too. And for aesthetic reasons, I'd place "happens" on the first line.