Wednesday, July 19, 2023

runny

Among the lingering COVID aftereffects I'm still dealing with (stuffy/runny nose, dulled sense of taste and smell) is diarrhea. I haven't eaten much of anything for days; my belt can be cinched down to the 8th of 9 holes, yet I still seem to have food lingering in my guts. Or if not the food itself, then the water content of the food, which somehow winds up in my colon instead of being processed through the kidneys and into my bladder. 

Diarrhea is usually a symptom of some deeper condition; it's not a syndrome in and of itself. It's a reaction in which the intestines fail, for whatever reason, to do their job of absorbing all usable moisture and nutrition from the food you eat, leaving a liquidy mess to flow peristaltically through the guts and out the ass.

Practically speaking, diarrhea is notoriously hard to "hold in" when the urge to purge becomes strong, and yesterday, I was taking trips to the toilet all day long. I must have gone to the men's room three or four times while at work, and when I got home, I was on the pot another five or six times, to the point where it started to feel as if I'd acquired a new superpower.

But like any superpower, this one comes with a price, and in my case, that price was an increasingly burning sensation as my anus was forced to vomit repeatedly. You know how some people, when vomiting, start to get bulging, bloodshot eyes from the strain? I had the anal version of that, and the torture continued until about 7 this morning, which is when I think my ass spewed out its last bit of liquid waste. With trembling fingers (and a detachable shower head), I washed my asshole as I sat on the toilet, then spread some Preparation H over the quivering, weeping sphincter to try to calm it down and keep it from prolapsing. The swollen anal tissue eventually retreated, and while I'm hungry as hell right now, I'm afraid to eat anything until my asshole has had maybe 24 hours to calm down and renormalize.

So how's your day been?



3 comments:

Charles said...

It's times like that when I am glad to have one of those fancy bidet seats at home. Would recommend.

Kevin Kim said...

Those things still make me clench/pucker.

John Mac said...

How's my day been? Not as shitty as yours. Thankfully.

That's a COVID symptom I never experienced. Hope it passes (no pun intended) soon.