The Maven sends me this life-affirming email:
Since I know you've experienced expectorating a tonsillolith and dared to mash it and then take a sniff, and thought to yourself, "Nothing else could smell that bad"...
Have you ever discovered you had a hunk of a rubbery bivalve, which was formerly garlicky and delicious atop a supple mound of linguine, ensconced 'tween your molars and gumline?
Horrified whilst in the restroom, doing a tooth & tartar check, to discover this, I raced back to my cubicle where I promptly flossed it out and into oblivion--I'm still waiting to see if the stench of the liberated, befouled bivalve has carried itself over to the next cubicle over.
I've got my dignity and a can of Glade air freshener on standby.
It's not often that I stop to smell the things caught in my teeth, but I have done so on occasion, and the results aren't pretty. One particularly bad night, before I had my upper left wisdom tooth removed, I flossed the molars close to that wisdom tooth and decided to sniff the quivering fragments on my floss.
Damn.
If taste and smell are as connected as is often claimed, I feel sorry for the woman whose tongue can reach back far enough to lick my molars-- she'd be tasting zombies back there. Just a reminder that I should floss more.
_
2 comments:
Zombies, you say? It never occurred to me what zombies would taste like. And now the thought is in my head, as inescapable as that is, I can't help but wonder what a zombie tastes like by which to compare it to other things.... rotting flesh? dog shit? All these things I can deduce just by smell; but zombies? I've never smelled a zombie. I'll be ruminating on this for a while, no doubt!
Well, since zombies *are* rotting flesh, I would imagine they would smell much like it. And rotting flesh smells *far* worse than dog poop, so I really wouldn't know what to compare zombies to.
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