a tip o' the hat

After the first day of the 2018 Pyeongchang Olympic Games, Finland is currently in the medal-count lead with four medals: one gold, two silver, and one bronze. I wanted, however, to congratulate South Korea on medaling before the US did: the US got zero medals on Day One, but South Korea managed to garner a gold in its unofficial national sport of short-track speed skating, an event that South Koreans have always excelled at. It's hilarious to see Russia also on the medal board, even though the country isn't officially participating (or something).

Those who saw the opening ceremony may have been tickled by the sight of what is now being called, variously, the "fire phallus," "fire penis," or "flaming phallus"—a huge robotic arm, with flames along its length, that extended in an uncomfortably salacious fashion to reach the top of the tall Olympic torch and light it. To be fair, Olympic torch-lighting ceremonies often tend to be phallic, mainly because the main torch is normally shaped like a tower, which is already itself a phallic symbol. I imagine the Western newspapers are tittering, in this case, not so much because of the main torch/tower (which I think is actually quite well designed and laden with intelligently incorporated symbolism), but because of that goddamn robotic arm, stretching slowly and lustily toward the tower's apex, eventually causing an ejaculatory burst of flame to shoot out of the tower. Quite a spectacle, but somehow apropos, given that Olympic athletes, who have arguably the best and sexiest bodies in the world, are notorious for fucking each other quite avidly at these events. With all these women from countries X, Y, and Z wandering the grounds with the semen of guys from countries A, B, and C inside their nether regions, I'd call the Olympics the ultimate exchange of peace offerings—better than the buttoned-down United Nations, that's for sure. And way more exciting.

Back to medals. I suspect the USA will catch up and surpass most countries by the end of the games; that's usually how it goes. We start a bit behind, then we rise quickly to the top of the medal count, then we jockey with a few other countries, then we often end up in the top three on the medal chart. We'll soon see if that happens this time around; the US has a pretty good history when it comes to medal count (see here, too), so stay tuned.

Meanwhile, congrats again to the ROK for showing us Yanks up.

Enjoy the feeling while it lasts.