Thursday, September 11, 2003

Gay Marriage Re-redux

The Maximum Leader has promised a reply to my long post, but his preparations for world domination keep him rather busy (unlike us indolent poet laureates, who have time to ruminate on the, er, gayer things in life). In the meantime, the Maximum Leader's Minister of Agriculture has opined on the subject of gay marriage, and responds much more directly than I ever could to certain issues in the Maximum Leader's argument. Read the Agriculture Minister's thoughtful, humorous, and yes, blunt essay here.

One topic I failed to address directly in my own essay was the issue of equality and equal outcomes. I thought about taking this on, but (1) felt that after nearly four hours of writing I no longer had the requisite number of operative brain cells to be up to the task, and (2) I don't think I have enough historical/political background to take on the Maximum Leader on his own turf, which is why I played to my dubious strengths and went metaphysical. But the Agriculture Minister isn't intellectually fettered in the historical/political arena, and his assessment of the equality/equal outcomes issue is succinct:

Society discriminates against gays in a legal fashion. As a conservative, I would expect the Maximum Leader to rail against the unequal application of laws. All citizens should be equal before the laws. And no, my friend with the clinically diagnosed case of megalomania, I am not traipsing down the slippery slope of equal outcomes. I believe the government has an obligation to provide a level playing field. If, after having a level playing field, you fail to reach the standard of living you desire, my response is to suck it up and work harder. Gays in this country do NOT have a level playing field and are not asking for equal outcomes; only equal opportunity. The perniciousness of equal outcome mentality is irrelevant to the topic at hand.

This is the argument I would have made, had I thought long and hard enough. The main difference is that I would have used about ten times as much space to say the same thing.

Anyway, after receiving a wise private admonition from the Air Marshal about the dangers of debating a hot-button issue in a public forum, I will lay this topic aside (for now) and await the arrival of the Maximum Leader's secret police.

UPDATE: Good God! Vile vituperation! Someone actually used my guest book to lodge a comment! And it's no less than the Minister of Agriculture:

Oh, so you demand my participation, then throw me to the dogs and then rethink the wisdom of debating a hot topic in a public forum. Very nice. I salute you as the blindfold is adjusted and I take my last pull on a cigarette. You are a wilier fellow than me.

Minister of Agriculture

Yes, the harsh realities of the Mike World Order sometimes require a measure of strategic cowardice. Some of us have no trouble accepting this. I apologize if this gets in the way of important things like, say, a longer life for some, but such are the dynamics of this nomos. Enjoy that cigarette.

No comments: