Friday, September 05, 2003

haiku from a friend

A friend of mine sent me the following haiku:

It hurts to get shot
Now he lives in a wheelchair
Unemployed hit man.

Fell down by the pool
Traumatic Brain Injury
Oops. That's gotta hurt.

Burn another rock
Meth is fun till you throw a
Blood clot to the brain.

Julie works in the medical field, in case you were wondering. I imagine the hospital is a great source for haiku topics. She also sent me these Korea- and defecation-related gems:

excremental wind
it blows billowing hallward
i think i will faint

Kim Jong Il has hair
I don't know if it's his hair
It's pretty floofy

eating dog is brave
testicular fortitude
i do not possess.

I should try some medical haiku, but I'm not up on my terminology.

how I love to say that word
stop laughing-- FUCK YOU!

I used to love the intense scenes on "ER." That was my favorite series for a long time. "A soap opera with a brain," as one of my close friends described it, and that about nails it. The dialogue was always impenetrable during the emergency scenes, when the paramedics would come bursting in with the latest victims of the Knife and Gun Club, but even though the characters were yelling in Greek, they were intense about it, what with everyone shouting at the same time.

"This guy's hemo-cryogenic rate is skyrocketing! Give me the 16-gauge pornographator, stat!"

"His B-52s are flatlining! And his nipples appear to be caving in!"

"Oh, that can't be good. Should we take out his heart temporarily and see what happens?"

"Nurse, hand me that circular saw. There's only one cure for priapism in this hospital."

"What!? You're going to cut off this man's dick?"

"I'm a surgeon by training, and dammit, surgeons cut. Stand aside, nurse."

"Christ, another chest-bursting alien! Carter, hand me that flamethrower."

Ah, life in the e.r. I miss watching that show.

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