it runs in the family

My brother David has a rare gift: he can write prose and poetry that will slowly drive you insane.

The following arrived in my email box a few minutes ago. It appears to be a poem in honor of my recent ass-lion post, but it takes on a life of its own. By the way: the first line, which contains the phrase "Take eht," is a sly reference to a running joke among us three brothers: we always laugh at that goofy scene at the beginning of "Terminator 2," in which a naked Arnold Schwarzenegger beats the hell out of a burly biker dude after demanding his clothes and motorcycle keys. The actor playing the biker is cowering on the floor; his trembling hand holds out the motorcycle keys; he moans, "Take it! Ugh!", then throws the keys to Arnold.

That scene never fails to amuse us, especially the theatrical "Ugh!" as the guy chucks the keys over.

Enjoy the poem. Then ask yourself why my brother doesn't have his own blog.

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OH NOOoooOo take eht

ass lion dances while

roman guard prances

those that take chances will

last long in my pants-ez

true though it may be

you're chirp free as a bee(-lee?)

and has it been said

that your dung has been fed

so when one romances

it shows up in dung dances

up to faux phances

loaned down through your man-sez.

YEAHHHH BABY

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I have no clue what this poem means, and it's probably better not to ask. But I'm proud to share this work with you all.

If David were a mental patient, he'd be the kind whose insanity is harmless but acutely discomfiting to those around him. Imagine a patient who likes lifting his hospital gown to expose his genitals, all the while shouting, "Yeah, baby! Pork and beans! Pork and beans, baby!"

_