A Day in the Life of Kim Jong-il

how does Jong-il
start his day?
he starts it the
American way!

cereal, toast
with butter, jam;
thinnest slice o'
Virginia ham

eggs and milk,
but he ain't done--
he eats ten babies
just for fun

pulls his pants down
shows his balls
reflectin' off
the mirrored walls

"Ping-pong! Ping-pong!"
Jong-il cries
his women coo
and shake their thighs

then to show
that he's got class
he jams a dildo
up his ass

"Hole in one!"
his guards exclaim
Jong-il booms,
"Don't doubt my aim!"

breakfast done,
it's time to work
so Jong-il dons his
Captain Kirk

"Fire phasers!"
Jong-il yells
skipping past
some prison cells

"Call my bitch!"
he then commands
a signal jumps
across the land

and somewhere in
the depths of Seoul
down inside
some marmot's hole

a shaky hand
picks up a phone
and Noh Mu-hyon
lets out a groan

"Morning," mumbles
Noh Mu-hyon
and Kim Jong-il cries,
just for fun:

"YOU MY BITCHIE!
PAY ME QUICK!
AND WHILE YOU AT IT,
SUCK MY DICK!"

"Yes, O Great One,"
Mu-hyon sighs
"Money's coming;
that's no lie."

Jong-il hangs up
"Ha!" he scoffs
asks a girl
to whack him off

And so it goes
with Kim Jong-il
eating babies
taking pills

starving peasants
raping goats
singing opera
missing notes

shooting mommas
shooting dads
shooting traitors
in the nads

drinking cognac
eating fish
thinking life is
so delish

North Korea--
all is fine
finer than the
best French wine

no big headaches
time to kill
--at least if your name's
Kim Jong-il


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