Saturday, June 15, 2013

Maqz's consolation: a poem

[Drinking-song rhythm. Thump a table while reciting. Shout the refrain.]

the pain of life is painful
it ratchets up a notch
so when you're sad
and feeling bad
just look into my crotch

your days are filled with anguish
upon your soul, a blotch
but when your life
is full of strife
just look into my crotch

existence is a gamble
a weird, perverse hopscotch
but when the crap
falls in your lap
just look into my crotch

your hope, it is receding
'tis now the midnight watch
and when the dark
is fearful stark
just look into my crotch

the danger's all around you
your clothes, a tattered swatch
and when you fear
for those held dear
just look into my crotch

this town, it needs a hero
and not a cruel Sasquatch
do not lose hope
and do not mope
just look into my crotch

my crotch, it is the answer
my crotch, the path to bliss
my crotch can fly



hahnak said...

one more time!! AGAIN!! AGAIN!!

Elisson said...

I am not worthy.

Kevin Kim said...


High praise from a master verse-weaver.

Then again, I think Maqz's crotch makes us all feel unworthy. I'm just waiting for the moment when his schlong booms out, "Remove thy sandals, for thou standest upon holy ground."


Gracias, gracias.

(And whatchoo been drinkin', girl?)

Bratfink said...

Well done! Well done!

You are going to miss that dorg when you leave, just in case you haven't thought about that yet.

Yeah, I'm turning that knife.

Kevin Kim said...

Thanks, Roof.

(Sorry. That's how a dog would say your name.)

Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

But does a dog have a crotch?

Ah -- some will say -- that is the mystery to be pondered . . .

Jeffery Hodges

* * *

Kevin Kim said...


Even trees have crotches.