Thursday, May 27, 2004

STENCH, redux

Justin Yoshida over at Cosmic Buddha wrote a superlative scatological post titled Stench. Here's the link. What I'd like to do here is outright thievery, but it's worth the bad karma: I'm going to reproduce, for your reading pleasure, the comment thread appended to Stench. Be sure to read Justin's post first, otherwise this will feel like an inside joke.

First, Justin's brother Adam writes:

This post has "Big Hominid" written all over it. It must have been quite a loaf for you to find it noteworthy. I mean, you didn't even mention to me that there were floating pieces of shit in the "ass washing basin" (they didn't have TP) after we used that toilet in rural Thailand, on the way to Laos. Now that was some fucked up repugnant shit!

Next, Justin responds:

Well, I did have Kevin in mind when I was writing it. It's half tribute and half prayer to the porcelain goddess to help him find a new home today. I guess we shall see if "brown power" lives up to its reputation.

Then I chime in:

The shit-kami were in good form, leaping across the ocean, ducking under Korean border sentries and guiding my fortune, blasting the demons of pessimism with Ultimate Brown Power. I now have a temporary place of residence at my #3 Adjumma's house (she's the wife of one of my mother's four cousins). So thank you for your asshole's warm and steaming prayer.

Yes, indeed-- this was a most worthy post. Most worthy. I just about shat in accidental tribute to your literary (and rectal) prowess.

But I've changed my mind about hanging out with you guys. If staying overnight at Justin's place means putting up with glowing, ki-infused megashit (I can see the animé dung monster in my head), I think I'd rather tuck myself into a cramped little kapsuro. Heh.

I read the post about rap, and just thought of a name for a Japanese rap group: ANAL KIAI.

Then Justin replies with a classic:

Good to hear you found a temporary pad, Kev. The power of poop never ceases to amaze.

Anal Kiai. Now that's fucking rad. I might have to cut a track with my pal Taro and name it thus.

Forlorn and forsaken, he walked the earth with nothing but his lucky marmot's foot and a pocketful of anal kiai.

I love it. The Yoshida brothers are fucking nuts. Yes, Garlic Eaters and Damn Japs can get along.

UPDATE: Courtesy of the awesome Poop Report site and blog, this stranger-than-fiction account of what it's like to have a tapeworm living inside you... and then what it's like to go to the doctor, get some medicine, kill the tapeworm, and face the ugly task of removing the tapeworm from your person. I busted a gut reading this, and hope to hell I never acquire a tapeworm of my own.

Also, check out a Poop Report blog post on how to create a USB turd.


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