Wednesday, April 05, 2006

the things that turn me on

There's a philosophical question that's been making the rounds in recent years, and it goes something like this:

A man buys a whole chicken at the grocery store with the intention of cooking and eating it. Before he places the chicken in the oven, however, he decides to have sex with it, and he does so when no one else is around, quite in the privacy of his own home. Morally speaking, are the man's actions right or wrong? Discuss.

I'm not sure I have a moral quibble with the man's actions, but I do have an aesthetic one. Heh.

I never took that question seriously because I was certain that no dead chicken could possibly arouse me. Then my brother emailed me the following picture... and now I'm not so sure:

Should this post be chalked up as foodblogging, or not? Discuss. While you're at it, discuss the various senses of "eat" that apply to the above picture.



Anonymous said...

Yeah, baby.

Maven said...

I have a few questions which if answered, may assist me in the moral dilemna:

1. Was a consom used?
2. Were the giblets used as ben wah balls up the pooper?
3. Was the bird rinsed out, or was the DNA deposit used like a bracing marinade?
4. Did you wash your hands before and after so as to prevent cross-contamination?
5. Was it a Perdue "done it?"
6. Was porn involved?
6a. Alcohol?
6b. Illicit drugs?
7. Was this homo-erotic fowl fucking, or are you certain it was a hen?
8. Did you truss it up a la BDSM style first?
8a. Was a ball gag employed (for you or the bird)?
9. Was profanity used?
10. Was Tuk-n-Ruffle used?

I now have a good idea of the "method" of preparing this dish:

Pluck it, fuck it, and chuck it [in the oven].

Maven said...


1 obviously is CONDOM... not consom...