Monday, March 10, 2008

Kathreb unleashed!

Kathreb and I met for the first time today. The initial nervousness faded quickly when she slyly opened her satchel a bit, revealing a colossal crack pipe. The woman was remarkably perceptive: not many people have picked up so quickly on my love for those tasty little rocks.

We lit up.

It didn't take many hits before we were happily showing each other our ass tattoos, spitting on random passersby while standing atop one of the buildings on my side of Smoo campus, and trading remarkably similar stories about our personal battles with syphilis, which we both agreed put a crimp on dating prospects and made children's games like Pluck My Pubes more hazardous than necessary.

A few hours into the discussion (with both of us high as hell), Kathreb confessed she wasn't an Aussie at all, but was in fact half-Samoan. I had already gathered this much from the peculiarly tropical scent emanating from her armpits. I asked her what her other half was, and she dreamily replied, "Toucan." Then she squawked and began pecking my skull in search of crackers.

We ended our rendezvous by trading underwear and promising to meet again at some point. I gave Kathreb the middle finger and she responded with a titanic fart, after which she hopped into a cab, trailing some of the fart cloud with her.

A few hours well spent.

EPILOGUE: A lot of people keep wondering whether Kathreb is indeed as hot as the rumors say she is. In this case, I'll vouch that the rumors are true. Scroll down and see for yourself.


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