Friday, March 14, 2008

uh... Happy White Day

White Day is when East Asian guys give chocolates, jazz CDs, and several feet of penis to the girls. The local bakeries and omni-stores have been preparing for this day for at least a week. I rarely see so much sugar on display. The girls have been starving themselves for a year, waiting for White Day-- the day they get to ingest as much sugar as they goddamn well please. It's a horrifying sight: the girls see the candies in their boyfriends' hands; their eyes begin to glow and their nails lengthen into claws. With a throaty roar, they seize the offerings (sometimes ripping off male fingers in the process), then retreat into a neutral corner and gnaw on their treasure like starving hyenas. An hour later, shockingly bloated and blissfully dazed from their binge, they roll onto their backs and stare sightlessly into the heavens, candy-colored drool streaming from the corners of their mouths, distended tongues lolling fatly, their tips quivering in involuntary reaction to the sucrose. "Cannot sex tonight," they whisper dreamily to the clouds. "Must digesting and metabolizing first."

What did you get your lady love? I got mine some library genitals.


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