Friday, September 24, 2004

the anti-Scots

Koreans are the anti-Scots. Unlike their drinking and brawling Scottish brothers on the far side of the planet, Koreans don't like the smell and taste of lamb, whereas the Scots have little compunction about fucking what they eat.

This is relevant because, thanks to a co-worker who hails from London, I've had the good fortune to find a Turkish food stand right in the middle of Kangnam. The food's not bad; the prices are a bit steep for the kebabs. The biggest disappointment, however, is the lack of lamb. All kebabs at this place are made of either beef or chicken. I like the spices they use, but there's no hiding the fact that I'm noshing on cow or bird. Like those randy Scots, I seek the ovine divine.

[Bird-related side note: this evening, a Canadian co-worker sagely remarked, "The pigeon of fate shits equally upon us all." Such is life at EC. In a prime example of pigeon-shitting, I left the office this evening with a "tuna gift set" for the Chusok holiday, apparently a gift from The Founder over in the Yeoksam head office. A more appropriate gift might have been a slice of The Founder's brain, but no: we got tuna. And yes, it's true: I'm now officially ON VACATION through Wednesday. Happy Chusok to you all. (The actual day is Tuesday.)]

I don't understand the Korean revulsion of lamb. Koreans will eat gop-jang and nae-jang (both of these refer to jang, intestines) after all, and this isn't so different from just cutting out an animal's asshole and eating it raw. If I were to compare the smell of cooked lamb to the smell of any animal's pulsating asshole, I'd have to declare lamb the winner every freakin' time.

If the Korean population has any animal-fuckers, they've kept a tight lid on the story. If you know of some online references to bestiality in Korea, please send them to m--, uh, to the Marmot.


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