Tuesday, September 14, 2004

happy birfday, little brother

It's the 14th, and my little brother David turns 28 today. David's a trip. Of the three brothers, he's probably the one who poops the biggest, releasing foul smelling, plantain-sized logs after waiting a few days for the crap to build up in his intestines. This ability seems only to increase with age. One day, David's going to poop himself right out of whatever building he's in. That'll be awesome, and I hope I'll be there, with a video camera, to catch the action.

David's invariably described as "sweet" by the ladies. When he visited me in Korea in early 1995, he stepped into my hagwon classroom and immediately caught the attention of every female in the room. I was, for that hour, completely forgotten.

Whenever I tell David about some lady I like, his reply is almost invariably an email that says, "FERTILIZE! FERTILIZE!"

David's a hard worker as well as an aspiring TV and film actor. If you're a Hollywoodite with connections, Dave would like to have a word with you. Trust me: he's talented and he's a trip.

Lately, my brother's been rediscovering his academic side. He didn't know he had one, but lo and behold, he's taking night classes along with working at least two jobs. Such industry puts me to shame.

Anyway, I just wanted to give my plantain-pooping little brother a birthday shout-out. Happy 28th, big boy! FERTILIZE! FERTILIZE!




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