Saturday, September 25, 2004

yeah, right, Jeff

Jeff thinks his lizard kicks ass (read his hilarious post here), but if my centipede were alive, we both know who'd come out on top in a fight.

Jeff, your lizard is nothing. When I look at it, I see an effete, whiny little bitch-boy waiting to be slapped around for pay. You might as well just spray paint PUSSY in huge letters on its back. Sure, your lizard can pose like a fashion model, but can it defend against a lightning-fast, 28-leg kick attack? I didn't fucking think so.

My centipede was able to explode an elephant's heart with a look. What does your lizard do, eh? I bet it spends most of its time reading Danielle Steel novels and drinking martinis with one clawed pinky permanently raised in that universally understood "Beat me now!" gesture.

Give it up, Jeff. Centipedes will be ruling this planet in a few decades' time. You've put your money on the wrong horse.

If I ever manage to resurrect my centipede, you'll see what I mean.

NB: read about the centipenis here. And lest we forget: my centipede ran a phone sex hotline.


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