Democrats... always one-upping Republicans

The opening salvo came from President George HW Bush who, in 1992, vomited into the lap of Prime Minister Kiichi Miyazawa of Japan, then promptly fainted. Caught on video and everything. It took nearly thirty years for the Democrats to strike back, but they've done so in the person of President Joseph Robinette Biden, who apparently defecated in his pants while in the presence of Prime Minister Boris Johnson (UK) last month. Biden struck again this past Friday by defecating in his pants one more time while visiting Pope Benedict in Rome. (Comedian Matt Walsh, delving into his own rumor mill, dismisses the story as false, but he's no more privy to the truth than I am, and my sources say "multiple sources confirm." Should we still retain some skepticism? Sure, why not? But is this situation plausible? You bet it is.)

I think I'll give this victory to the Democrats, for they clearly have a winner in the First Excreter. President Bush never had a follow-up vomiting incident, so Biden is the obvious winner, here, and I hope he savors his victory, as I'm sure his legions of boisterous aides do every time something like this happens. Here's to many more such victories!

There's got to be some angry liberal out there right now who's crafting witty jokes about how President Trump's verbal diarrhea was worse than anything that might have come tumbling out of Joe Biden's tailpipe, and frankly, I think we've all become so desensitized to politicians' incontinence that we no longer even bat an eye when someone clearly old and over the hill has an indiscreet moment. Remember this picture of Hillary?

Some cry fake; others insist it's real.

Her public image since then seems to have suffered not at all. The people who love her still love her; the people who hate her still hate her. Nothing has changed. As they say in politics, the needle hasn't moved. So maybe the same will be true for Runny Uncle Joe, assuming he doesn't have a major disaster during a public event in the States—something that can't be easily papered over and/or denied as computer trickery.

Obviously, the Reaper comes for us all eventually, and those of us lucky enough to live to a ripe old age will spend our days drooling and crapping our pants in a return to babyhood. There may, in fact, be something a bit sad about seeing someone's physical decline manifest itself in such an embarrassingly public fashion. But Joe Biden has earned enough bad karma over the years, I think, that the usual politesse no longer applies, so as far as I'm concerned, here—joke away. Joe's earned it.

Granted, the "world leaders avoiding" part of the graphic doesn't make much sense when you think about it. Would Biden's handlers really let him stand and pose for a shot while shit was trickling down his legs? I doubt it. That said, the shot does look rather sad and awkward.