Thursday, February 14, 2008

the Dear Joan letter

[NB: This post was inspired by one of Jelly's entries.]

Dear Bitch Joan,

I still remember the first time I ever saw your humongous tits you. You were drunk and fingering your equally fucked-up friend Debbie at the bar standing at the edge of the park, radiant in your thong pleated skirt, nipples at attention staring with such fascination at my swollen, pulsating cock a squirrel that was happily chewing its way through my its nuts. You still hadn't seen me, but I saw you, and I knew right then that I would be spurting my hot jism all over your screaming face that very evening we were destined for each other.

But now our relationship lies in ruins; the wounds to my scrotum in my heart promise to fester not to heal for a long time. Once you made it clear that ass-fucking was no longer on the agenda you wanted to break things off, I immediately began fucking your grandmother knew I had to let it all go and face reality.

So this is goodbye, you flop-tittied cooze at least for now. I suppose we might, by sheer coincidence, shoot bump into each other at Crack Dealer Dave's in church, but this strikes me as unlikely.

I hope you suck a dick that ejaculates hydrochloric acid All the best,




Anonymous said...

I got all warm and damp when I read you flop tittied cooze.

Jelly said...

I think you might be linking to the wrong post? Thanks - uhhhh - yah. Happy (belated) Valentine's Day, Reynaldo!

Kevin Kim said...


Oh, no: that's the right post. What inspired me was your humorous use of the "strike-through" function.