Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Ave, Annika!

Sheryl Crow recently advocated helping the environment by limiting use of toilet paper to one or two squares of paper per session... thereby incurring the wrath of her fellow females, who generally need half a roll of paper to wipe their asses and buff their perineums to a high gloss.

Annika posts the only possible reply to such madness.

UPDATE: There is, however, a way to implement Crow's advice.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Literally I am LOL at the moment, because I had that particular URL "at the ready" for you:)

And to answer a possible query, "Though I learned that "critical skill" and was paid to do so, I never utilized it. If need be, I'd take off one of my socks and dispose of it (much like my sister has done, excuse the pun "in a pinch"), before I'd relegate my wiping to a single square.

So to Laurie David (Larry David's* wife) and Sheryl Crow I say, loudly and proudly:

I will not wipe it with one square
I will not wipe it with a bear.
I will not wipe it with my blouse.
I will not wipe it with a mouse.
I will thoroughly wipe, here or there.

Yes I have a square to spare!
And no, I won't spare a square!
When I wipe myself down there!

*Interesting aside, Larry David was one of the writers of Seinfeld, a show of which had an episode involving the character Elaine imploring a stranger from under a restroom stall, "Do you have a square to spare?" I'm probably the millionth person today to make that connection!