Monday, March 18, 2019

toilets as a test of extroversion

I can't understand the dude who, when faced with three toilet cubicles in the men's room, one of which is occupied, chooses to sit in the cubicle next to mine. I always choose a far-edge cubicle, thus giving the next man the choice of sitting either next to me or two cubicles away, which would be my preference. Most dudes choose the other far cubicle, thus putting some space between us (as is only proper), but every now and then, some needy, clingy asshole decides he'd rather sit right next to me. What's up with that? Does he crave companionship? Is he some kind of twisted extrovert who can't stand to be away from people when he has to shit? What drives a man—a man!— to sit next to me in his time of need? By the same token, what drives a man to choose the middle cubicle when no one else is around, thus guaranteeing someone will sit next to him? Does he want someone to sit next to him? Pervert.

NB: to be clear, this post is half in jest. I used to be the type of person whose asshole would pucker shut if someone else came into the men's room. These days, I don't give a fuck. And I'm already on record regarding unisex/"omnisex" restrooms: I honestly don't care who might be next to me while I'm dumping.

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