a July 4th message from Milo Yiannopoulos

I forgot that I had signed up for gay British provocateur Milo Yiannopoulos's newsletter which, up to now, had never come to my electronic doorstep. Then suddenly, this very night (it's 2:05 a.m. on July 5 here in Seoul as I write this), I received an email from the Fabulous One himself—and wonder of wonders, it was a sincere love letter to America and not another self-indulgent screed in which Milo talked only about Milo.

Here's the text:

Two hundred and forty-three years ago, your forefathers picked a fight with my king.

We nipped across the ocean and set up camp in Boston to remind you scrappy Colonists who rules the world and to whom you should bow. To this day, I still enjoy seeing fighting-age American men on their knees in front of me.

But, despite our superior European grasp of style, finely tailored red coats and elegant manners, your troops surrounded my General Cornwallis at Yorktown and he had no choice but to accept defeat and lay down arms to General Washington.

Great Britain has never been the same.

We had so much potential! To this day, Brits could be partying like Saudi princes in London on the backs of your labor and the wealth it could have brought to the Empire.

But your forefathers chose not to be slaves to kings.

Instead, you chose to fight.

It was a humbling lesson to England, but one we still have not fully grasped.

That’s why, as a British-born man, I proudly stand on this Fourth of July... on American soil. I’ve voted with my feet and realized that, despite your horrendous impertinence, this is the greatest nation in the history of human civilization.

And I am honored to enjoy the privilege and prosperity it has brought me.

Since our defeat in 1781, Brits chose to endure rather than truly fight.

Today, we endure a Muslim invasion that will leave my island nation a shadow of its former self. Brits walk the streets today oblivious to their culture crumbling around them—or cognizant of it and terrified.

Britain’s national dish used to be a curry named chicken tikka masala. These days it’s the severed head of the Infidel.

But Americans fight. And that’s why I’m here, standing beside you.

Happy Fourth of July, my American friends.

Be proud of your past.

Be proud of your future.

And most importantly, never abandon the fighting spirit that has granted you freedom from tyranny.

XO,

Milo

I'd be happy and proud to have Milo among us as a fellow citizen. He should take the leap.