Saturday, August 16, 2003

militant haiku in support of Frank J

war on Glenn Reynolds!
Sauron of the blogosphere!
puppy-slurping turd!

Instapundit? hell--
I could write that drivel while
taking a brief shit

Glenn rumors I heard:
breast reduction surgery
on Uncle Sam's tab

life is more than links!
get a clue, you InstaFool
blog a thousand words!

Frank will kick your ass
over here, then over there
while we point and laugh

"real bullets" will fly
Instapundit better duck
monkeys fling their dung

France is but the start
soon we'll heat and eat Glenn's brain
with a dash of salt

Frank J's steel-toed boot
has a date that it must keep
with Glenn's testicles

Hulk mad! Very mad!
Want to smash Instapundit!
Crush Glenn between pecs!

shot while in mid-sex
Glenn jerks once, then falls away
much to sheep's relief

Glenn descends to hell
Satan shows him his torment:
Undead Puppy Room

In honor of Frank J at IMAO, whose noble crusade against Glenn Reynolds of Instapundit I shall craft into an epic that will rival La Chanson de Roland. Good luck with the war, Frank.

If you like the haiku, you might consider buying my book. Plenty more haiku in there, along with short stories, Star Trek & Star Wars parodies, and more. Or... kick back and read a few essays on the blog. There's a little bit of everything here.

FOR THOSE OF YOU NOT IN THE KNOW: The blogosphere finds itself in a state of war as the forces of light and darkness gather on the cyber-battlefield and clash. Frank J of IMAO has declared war on the evil Glenn Reynolds, the terrible Voice of Darkness who runs Satan's Anus. Frank's immortal cry, "Instapundo delenda est!" has echoed across the cosmos through time and space, and reached the hairy eardrums of the Big Hominid, who just composed some Dogs of War Doggerel (n'oubliez pas les PUPPIES) to aid Frank in his apocalyptic struggle against Satan's Anus. Forward into battle!

THIS JUST IN: Glenn Reynolds's latest masterpiece!

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