nasssssty little hobbitses kicked us in the ballsies, Precioussssss!

Everything I've heard about "Return of the King" has been good. Bombtits good. So I'm hoping to see it when I get back from Williamsburg (leaving Monday morning; there for the evening; coming back Tuesday afternoon). I'm not quite as deep into geek-speculation about LOTR as I am about parsing tropes in the Matrix series, so it's doubtful I'll be writing an extensive review of it on this blog. Perhaps the Air Marshal, who is a much bigger LOTR fan than I am, would care to share his thoughts? Open that mind-sphincter and spew some (b)logorrhea, man!

What kind of work can actor Andy Serkis, whose voice and body talents were the driving force behind the CGI Gollum, expect from now on? Prediction: typecasting into bizarro roles. He should lie low and muck around the indie circuit, in my opinion, now that his bank account is larger than both my buttocks combined.

And given that John Rhys-Davies has proclaimed himself an avid fan of dead white male culture... when can we expect the death fatwa to appear?

Will Elijah Wood ever find as good a role again? Maybe he can follow the likes of Mark Hamill into a career as a voice actor. Will Wood, somewhere down the line, be doing his own "Cock-knocker"-style self-parody?

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