Saturday, January 14, 2006

Saturday blahs

My armpit hairs were especially wilted when I woke up this morning after a night of coughing and hacking. The current sickness is strange: I don't feel particularly bad, but I'm subject to spasms of coughing that sometimes leave me doubled over. It's been this way all week. Every time I cough, it feels as though a blood vessel in my head is about to burst, but aside from that and a persistent tickle deep in my throat, I'm perfectly fine. No fever, nothing. I'm just tired from being kept up all night by my immune system and its attackers. I suppose I should gargle. Eating mok-k'aen-di (sore throat candy/lozenges) isn't really helping.

But it's Saturday-- the sun is bright, there's a lot of shit to do (uh... thanks, Tom), and I need to get a move on.

So! A few quick phlegm haikus in honor of the creatures currently residing in my bronchial tubes:

booger's foul cousin
deep inside my throat you live
creature of the night

every time I cough
I see stars and grab my head
oh-- and then there's phlegm

weird word origins
who the hell would ever put
"phlegm" in "phlegmatic"?

Jesus knew no hate
but I'm sure he had to know
how shitty phlegm is

my coworker's cute
I'm afraid of launching a
phlegm volley at her

so I asked the monk:
"How can I deal with this phlegm?"
"Don't try prayer," he growled

then I had a thought:
using shotgun phlegm patterns
to tell your fortune!

sneezing while naked
very inadvisable:
phlegm in pubic hair

Off to have a day.
Got to get some errands done.
Hope your day goes well.



Kevin Kim said...

A lot of people are hacking like I am... Seoul is a nightmare from an infection control/epidemiology perspective.

Bronchitis?? Man, I hope not. That would suck major donkey balls.


Jelly said...

Hey Kev-
My final flu of 2005 was surely just that, high temp, muscle ache, heavy cough, sinus shit, etc,....but 2 weeks later I was told I have bronchitis (a residue?)
I still have a healthy phlegmy cough, which thankfully hasn't launched snotty green matter into my pubes. Yet.
Go to the Korean doc and get an ass injecion already. Before you DIE!

Maven said...

On a serious note, I highly recommend some Tom Yum Goong, a Thai soup, which has lemongrass, garlic, galangal (a cousin to ginger), kefir lime leaf, lime juice, nam pla... oh screw it you know where to find the recipe!!). Between all of the aromatics, and especially the lemongrass and chile peppers... it'll kick the ass out of the microbes which are causing you so much coughing grief!

I was sick with what I refer to as my own personal Andromeda Strain for over four weeks. The last remaining three of which just left me exhausted and irritable from all the coughing.

Between breathing in the spiced up fumes while cooking this soup as well as the consumption of it, it really does help quite a bit.

SOme folks want chicken soup when they are sick; me? Tom Yum Goong all the way!!