My armpit hairs were especially wilted when I woke up this morning after a night of coughing and hacking. The current sickness is strange: I don't feel particularly bad, but I'm subject to spasms of coughing that sometimes leave me doubled over. It's been this way all week. Every time I cough, it feels as though a blood vessel in my head is about to burst, but aside from that and a persistent tickle deep in my throat, I'm perfectly fine. No fever, nothing. I'm just tired from being kept up all night by my immune system and its attackers. I suppose I should gargle. Eating mok-k'aen-di (sore throat candy/lozenges) isn't really helping.
But it's Saturday-- the sun is bright, there's a lot of shit to do (uh... thanks, Tom), and I need to get a move on.
So! A few quick phlegm haikus in honor of the creatures currently residing in my bronchial tubes:
booger's foul cousin
deep inside my throat you live
creature of the night
every time I cough
I see stars and grab my head
oh-- and then there's phlegm
weird word origins
who the hell would ever put
"phlegm" in "phlegmatic"?
Jesus knew no hate
but I'm sure he had to know
how shitty phlegm is
my coworker's cute
I'm afraid of launching a
phlegm volley at her
so I asked the monk:
"How can I deal with this phlegm?"
"Don't try prayer," he growled
then I had a thought:
using shotgun phlegm patterns
to tell your fortune!
sneezing while naked
very inadvisable:
phlegm in pubic hair
Off to have a day.
Got to get some errands done.
Hope your day goes well.
_
5 comments:
The good news is that ti doesn't get much worse - assuming you've gotten passed losing your voice for a couple of days. Also don;t get alarmed when you hear the wheezing from deep in your lungs - it's not consumption. The bad news is that I've just finished week three of this plague, and I'm still hawking up gobs of green stuff in the morning - albeit increasingly smaller gobs
Bronchitis, perhaps? Got it twice while living in Korea. The second time I self-treated by getting more sleep, which cleared it up right away. (doesn't make sense when coughing while sleeping keeps one up, but it worked.)
A lot of people are hacking like I am... Seoul is a nightmare from an infection control/epidemiology perspective.
Bronchitis?? Man, I hope not. That would suck major donkey balls.
Kevin
Hey Kev-
My final flu of 2005 was surely just that, high temp, muscle ache, heavy cough, sinus shit, etc,....but 2 weeks later I was told I have bronchitis (a residue?)
I still have a healthy phlegmy cough, which thankfully hasn't launched snotty green matter into my pubes. Yet.
Go to the Korean doc and get an ass injecion already. Before you DIE!
On a serious note, I highly recommend some Tom Yum Goong, a Thai soup, which has lemongrass, garlic, galangal (a cousin to ginger), kefir lime leaf, lime juice, nam pla... oh screw it you know where to find the recipe!!). Between all of the aromatics, and especially the lemongrass and chile peppers... it'll kick the ass out of the microbes which are causing you so much coughing grief!
I was sick with what I refer to as my own personal Andromeda Strain for over four weeks. The last remaining three of which just left me exhausted and irritable from all the coughing.
Between breathing in the spiced up fumes while cooking this soup as well as the consumption of it, it really does help quite a bit.
SOme folks want chicken soup when they are sick; me? Tom Yum Goong all the way!!
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